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I think about disaster quite often; not in a terribly morbid way mainly in a what will happen to the kids if I die kind of way! The thought terrifies me so much! If James is away on business I always make sure someone checks on me every morning to make sure I’m still there for the kids! I can’t bear the thought of them waking up to find Mummy dead and then be left alone for however long it takes someone to realise! I guess I should teach Maisie to phone 999 so in case something does happen then she will be able to phone emergency services but would she be in a fit state to do so? I just like the fact that if someone knows I am on my own and they check on me then a familiar face will be there for them!
I think about disaster quite often; not in a terribly morbid way mainly in a what will happen to the kids if I die kind of way! The thought terrifies me so much! If James is away on business I always make sure someone checks on me every morning to make sure I’m still there for the kids! I can’t bear the thought of them waking up to find Mummy dead and then be left alone for however long it takes someone to realise! I guess I should teach Maisie to phone 999 so in case something does happen then she will be able to phone emergency services but would she be in a fit state to do so? I just like the fact that if someone knows I am on my own and they check on me then a familiar face will be there for them!
I have always been terrified of dying ever since I asked my Mum what happens when you die when I was very little and she said “you go to sleep for a very long time” – I guess it’s easier if you have something to believe in… I have NOTHINGNESS! I don’t want to have nothing actually I want to be a spirit and watch over the ones I love! I don’t want to have to tell my kids that you just go to sleep for a very long time! What do you tell your kids about dying? I guess if you are religious then it is easier to deal with but if you’re not what to you say?
Then at times I’ll be lay in bed and I’ll get myself worked up that the house is going to set on fire; I go over and over getting the kids out of the house safely and work out a route for wherever the fire may be. I have home insurance so we are probably covered for rebuilds, material goods etc. What about everything that I treasure – what about all my photos and memories from the last 34 years? So now I make sure I back up precious photos twice on to DVDS and keep them in separate places just in case! If the whole house went up then they’d be gone I’m sure but at least I tried. What I could do is get a safety deposit box I guess and store things there I guess!
I really have no idea where this post is going I am just rambling… Hmmm I guess what I want to know is…
AM I COMPLETE BONKERS OR DO ALL MUMS WORRY JUST AS I DO?
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